June 17, 2009

Self-determination: Who Are You?


"Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself."

Harvey S. Firestone
Founder, Firestone Tire and Rubber


This is one of those quotes that seems obvious.

Don't let others tell you what to do/run your life/make your decisions for you . . . define yourself.


Do you?

5 comments :

  1. Do I?

    Less so these days than in the past. Right now I'm just focused on keeping my job.

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  2. I know that. I lost my job the end of last year and still haven't found a new one but in a strange way it's been liberating and I think I'm much more in control now than before.

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  3. I realize that in difficult economic times the tendency might be, don't rock the boat, but you have to be careful not to completely subjugate yourself. If you do, management may one day say "we don't need people who won't think for themselves."

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  4. Yes, we have to accept reality, but I think we can do that while staying true to who we are/what we want.
    When I was formulating ideas & plans for my new business, I found that everyone had their own ideas of what I should do. I would tell them about my ideas and they all filtered the information through their own experiences/ideas. Almost no one actually listened fully to what I said. It would have been easy to be pulled in one direction then another. In the early stages of development, it was particularly hard to stay true to my concept, but I'm really glad I did. I don't know if it was the BEST way to do things, but it was MINE.

    (and Bill, nice pic - although I kind of miss the helmet & mask)

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  5. I'm sorry Julie, I wasn't listening, what did you say? (Just kidding)

    I've always felt my responsibility as a manager, as well as in all my "civilian" identities, was to make sure I listened, soliciting input for decisions I must make, sometimes including what the decision itself should be. But with that done, for better or worse, the decision was mine to make.

    How did that work out? Maybe a "B" overall, in some situations a "C" with a few "D's" and "A's". Really listening is tough, but it is what we all should do more of.

    I know the feeling you describe when you realize people are more interested in telling you what they think as opposed to listening to you. I've been on both the receiving and giving end of that and while I can't control what others do, I can and do work to improve my listening skills, sometimes with amazing results.

    Occasionally I find myself thinking I really do know what the other person has said, nonetheless forcing myself to reconsider, listening more intently, only to find I didn't listen well at all the first time. And then I get an "aha" moment based on something they say I almost missed. That is when I fully understand the power of not just hearing but actually listening.

    Thanks for the comment on the picture. More business like but I too miss my Mig 25 Russian adventure picture.

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