WHAT'S IN IT FOR THEM?

"It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest."

Adam Smith, 18th century English economic philosopher

Any deal that overly favors one at the expense of the other is destined to fail.

Win win. 

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

"Without contraries there is no progression. Attraction and repulsion, reason and energy, love and hate, are necessary to human existence."

William Blake (1757-1827) British poet/painter.

Opposites attempt to change each other's position and out of this either comes further separation, or new thinking that might not otherwise exist.

Which it will be depends on your goals: resistance to or acceptance of change.

The former will leave you no better than before, the latter with hope for a better future.

THE PRICE OF OBSTINATE NEGOTIATION

"Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one's mind."

W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965) British novelist and playwright.

There is a cost for being right as well for when you act as though you are even when you're not.

Make sure you're willing to pay it before you incur it.

I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING

I think Winston's taken this a bit far but, yes, there is some truth to this.

However, more often the positive side of tactfulness is it leaves open the possibility for reconciliation of two diverse viewpoints.

A good thing.

CAPTIVE TO OPINIONS YOU INSIST ARE TRUE

"An obstinate person does not hold opinions; they hold him."

Alexander Pope (1688-1744) English poet and satirist.

It's not so much a matter of your opinions being true as it is your insistence they are. 

Once you reject alternative views you give up your own right of choice.

KNOW WHEN TO BRACE, WHEN TO BEND

"Rigid, the skeleton of habit alone upholds the human frame."

Virginia Woolf (1882-1941) British novelist/essayist

We do need rigidity, however complete inflexibility leaves no room for growth.

Flexible and rigid.

Simultaneously ready to be the other while being the one.

MY WAY OR . . .

"Extreme positions are not succeeded by moderate ones, but by contrary extreme positions."

Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) German-Swiss philosopher/writer

You've taken an extreme position at work, one you'll either totally win or lose.

Doing so you leave little choice to those not willing to accept your views.

Are you ready to completely lose or might some compromise serve you, and the other side, better?

I HOPE THIS PLEASES YOU

"Please all, and you will please none."

Aesop (620 BC-560 BC) Greek fabulist

And since it is rarely, if ever, possible to please all, even the effort will often please none.

Just attempt to do what is right and leave concern for who that pleases to others.

TIMING

"Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on."

Robert Frost

Late 19th/early 20th century American Poet

I am often more struck by the author of the quotes as opposed to the message itself, this being but one example.

This is about the importance of timing, albeit in a cold, calculated manner.

I wonder if Mr. Frost would accept substituting "poetry" for "art"?

NO ARGUMENT HERE

"The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress."

Joseph Joubert

18th century French moralist

Progress that is mutually beneficial to both sides of the argument.

I'M REASONABLY CERTAIN THIS IS TRUE

"The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it."

Voltaire

18th century French writer/historian

Well, not always (enables), but even having the ability to attempt to reason with an unreasonable person is an advantage.

WINNERS WHO TAKE ALL RARELY KEEP IT

"It is better to rise from life as from a banquet -- neither thirsty nor drunken."

Aristotle 

3rd century BC Greek philosopher

And in negotiation too.

Get too much and you may soon lose it all.

I Have Something To Say About That!

"Diplomacy is thinking twice before saying nothing."

Unknown

Advice I would have been better off having followed numerous times in my career.

What about you?

Something for Everyone

"Never contend with a man who has nothing to lose."

Baltasar Gracian

17th century Spanish philosopher

And never enter agreements favorably only to you.

One way or the other you will pay.

At The Heart Of Every Labor Negotiation

"From each according to his ability, to each according to his need."

Karl Marx

19th century German philosopher/political economist

What if anything do you think this 1875 quote has to do with economics in the world today?

What about your business?

Don't know, don't care?

You need to, you REALLY need to.

Needing to Win . . . Just Because?

"Don't fight a battle if you don't gain anything by winning."

Erwin Rommel
WWII General, German Army

How many discussions, debates, arguments, disagreements have you been in where following this advice would have produced a more favorable outcome for you, the other party or both?

Partnerships: Do The Pieces Fit?

"Our industry is littered with strategic partnerships gone south . . . Generally strategic partnerships don't work out unless one partner is acquired."

Denise Sangster

Channel Analyst and CEO Global Touch
Quote suggested by Kerry Moyer, CEA Senior Director

Denise is right but I would qualify her last statement by adding, and even then they often don't work (when one partner is acquired by another.)

This refers to one company joining with another but the concept holds all the way down to one-to-one personal relations.

Short of one side attempting to bludgeon the other into doing what they want (which rarely works and then only for a short time), successful partnerships are based on win/win.

Agree/disagree?

Negotiation: Can There Be Two "Winners"?

"He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of a diplomat."

Joseph Joubert
18th Century French Moralist

"In business, you don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate."

Chester L. Karrass
Author, Consultant on Negotiation Skills

Everything in business is about negotiation; with your customers, employees, even with yourself.

How much time have you thought about your ability to negotiate? For you is it win/lose, win/win or lose/win when it comes to how you deal with people in your professional life?