YOU'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU?

"There is no person so severely punished as those who subject themselves to the whip of their own remorse."

Seneca (4 BC-65) Roman philosopher/playwright.

Remorse, in moderation, is a good thing.

It directs us to what and who we should be away from what we shouldn't.

Acknowledge and learn from your failings and then move on. There's no value in continual self-condemnation.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT YOU

"Even the lion must defend himself against flies."

German proverb

Unfair criticism can be like flies we are unable to swat away.

However not all criticism is unfair.

Learn to graciously accept that which ultimately will help while ignoring that which won't, carefully deciding which is which.

That which hurts the most may also be what helps the most.

AND ANOTHER THING!

"I find the pain of a little censure, even when it is unfounded, is more acute than the pleasure of much praise."

Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) Third president of the United States

It's like that for most of us.

Note to management: You do need to criticize employees who are not performing as expected, but do so carefully with much consideration.

The effects on them and their work may be exactly the opposite of what you hope for and expect.

IN BUSINESS TOO

"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards."

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman/scientist/philosopher

Success often results from the combined efforts of individuals within a group, all of whom have one fault or another.

They need only be accounted and planned for, not acknowledged, to succeed.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

"A word carries far -- very far -- deals destruction through time as the bullets go flying through space."

Joseph Conrad (1857-1924) British novelist

Even more so in this age of instant communication.

Choose what you say (and type) very carefully, it will outlast you, on occasion having outdone you.

The Pain Of Criticism

"I feel the pain of a little censure, even when it is unfounded, is more acute than the pleasure of much praise."

Thomas Jefferson

3rd president of the United States

I think this is probably true for most of us.

And yet we can or should learn more from criticism than we do from praise.

That is if we're listening.

Who's In Charge Of Me?

"Observe all men, thyself most."

Benjamin Franklin

18th century American statesman/philosopher

But we do just about the opposite don't we?

And not just observe but comment on, criticize, and reject the thoughts and actions of others.

Better to take care of the one person whose behavior we have some small chance of affecting.

That's So Lame!

"Resort is had to ridicule only when reason is against us."

Thomas Jefferson

Third president of the United States

Think about this the next time you find yourself demeaning someone or their ideas.

Is It Me Or Is It You?

"Abuse, if you slight it, will gradually die away; but if you show yourself to be irritated you will be thought to have deserved it."

Publius Cornelius Tacitus

1st century Roman historian

Just make sure you are slighting abuse, which in business can be mistaken for justifiable criticism.

If it is the latter, fight it, and if the former, think about what you need to do differently.

Learn Now Or Pay Later

 "A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials."

Chinese proverb

While this suggests two things (one's openness to criticism ("friction") and the inevitability of challenges), of even greater worth for me is the unsaid wisdom that ties the two together.

The more likely we are to accept suggestions of ways we can improve, the less likely it is we will later make mistakes resulting in "trials."

Here's Where You Went Wrong . . .

"They condemn what they do not understand."

Marcus Tulius Cicero

1st century BC Roman politician

Now, when it is me being criticized I see the wisdom in this however when I am constructively pointing out someone else's faults, I don't.

How about you?

You Can't Please Everyone All The Time

"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."

Elbert Hubbard
19th century American editor/author

Said another way, you can't make an omelette if you don't break an egg.

I've never known anyone in business worth anything who did not, multiple times, offend others.

How are you when it comes to alienating a few to a lot of people based on what you say and do?

Not What Is, What Could Be!

"A sneer is the weapon of the weak."

James Russell Lowell
19th century American writer/editor

Most anyone can see what is wrong or missing with an idea, product, plan, program, etc.

In other words, what isn't.

But value comes from those who also see what is or could be, and then work to make that happen.

Asking For It

"Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, being nothing."

Aristotle

Having acted, expect to be criticized.

Expect it but don't fear it and should you see you're not, ask yourself if you are doing enough.

Are you?

Praise: The Role in Management

"We increase whatever we praise. The whole creation responds to praise, and is glad."

Charles Fillmore
19th Century Religious Philosopher

"The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism."

Norman Vincent Peale
20th Century Preacher/Author

Another case of seemingly dueling quotes; this time regarding the role of praise, both coming from religious people.

I've struggled with this in my career sometimes criticized by those who worked for me as not giving enough praise. In each case I thought a lot about the situation sometimes agreeing that I could have done more but more often than not feeling as Mr. Peale apparently did. Circumstances simply did not justify what would have at best been a false compliment.

How do you handle this?