THE VALUE OF SECOND (THIRD, FOURTH, ETC.) IMPRESSIONS

"Be not deceived with the first appearance for show is not substance."

English proverb

People, you and me included, are not real until we show ourselves to be.

First impressions are of little value.

IT STARTS WITH A GOAL

"Those who do not have goals are forever doomed to work for those who do."

Brian Tracy, author

There's nothing wrong with working for someone else, the vast majority of people do.

But if you want to work for yourself, you must establish goals and a detailed plan to realize them. 

Anything less means you will most certainly fail.

WHAT YOU WILL, NOT WHAT YOU DON'T

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance."

Confucius 5th century BC Chinese teacher/philosopher

You might think ignorance implies stupidity.

It doesn't.

Ignorance is only about what you don't yet know and there's no limit on how much you can know. 

SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength."

Corrie Ten Boom, 20th century author

This suggests we should just put worry aside and deal with problems as they arise.

I wish it were that simple.

But we can reduce, if not eliminate, much of what we do worry about.

It's well worth the effort.

YOU LOSE, PERIOD, WHEN YOU LOSE CONTROL

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."

Mark Twain, 19th century American author/humorist

Not sure how this might apply to you?

If not you might have a much bigger anger management problem than you think.

A MAJOR VIRTUE

"Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet."

Jean-Jacques Rousseau 18th century French philosopher

I rest Mr. Rousseau's case if you think you don't have time to understand what this means.

YOUR WAY, MY WAY, THE RIGHT WAY

"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking."

George S. Patton, General US Army WWII

Differences of opinion must ultimately be resolved if there is to be unanimous, or close to it, support for whatever is to be done.

Just not initially.

In the beginning the task is to identify the right way, created from bits and pieces of all possible ways.  

THE HEART OF MISUNDERSANDING

"The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said."

Peter Drucker

20th century business consultant/teacher/author/speaker

Unless what isn't said isn't even thought.

The best way, the only way, to know what the other person thinks or assumes is to ask them.

(YOU WILL) RECEIVE WHAT YOU GIVE

"Kindness gives birth to kindness."

Sophocles (497/6 BC-406/5 BC) Greek tragic poet.

And insult to insult, injury to injury.

Consider how you'd like others to treat you.

Sooner or later, generally much sooner, what you send around will come around to you.

YES, BUT . . .

"It is the working man who is the happy man. It is the idle man who is the miserable man."

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American statesman/scientist/philosopher.

Sure, generally speaking, all things being equal, however . . .

Not if the work you are doing is not at least tolerable if not enjoyable.

Not if your work leaves little to no time for a personal life.

Too much, too little of anything leads to an unbalanced, unhappy life.

SOME MORE THAN OTHERS

"God made man to go by motives and he will not go without them any more than a boat without steam or a balloon without gas."

Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887) American politician.

There are good motives and bad motives, motives sufficient to entice you to keep trying as well as those that won't.

Really consider what motivates you before you invest time and money attempting to achieve something you soon realize you don't want.

LISTEN TO THIS

"One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say."

Bryant H. McGill, 20th/21st century American author/speaker

Make no mistake about it, listening is much more than simply hearing words spoken by someone else.

Real listening requires you understand the other person's point of view. It is not the time to accept or reject what the other person says, that will come later.

Understand? 

THE AMAZING UNKNOWN!

"It is the unknown that excites the ardor of scholars, who, in the known alone, would shrivel up with boredom."

Wallace Stevens (1879-1955) American Modernist poet.

You (hopefully) have a good education, one that allows you to continually be amazed at all the new things you have yet to learn.

ADULT YOUTHFULNESS

"Those whom the gods love grow young."

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet/dramatist.

They do so by retaining the best of youth; wonder, excitement, the absence of prejudice.

So hard to do but when present with the rest that makes us adults, we find the best human beings possible.

CORPORATE WARS

"Those who are at war with others are not at peace with themselves."

William Hazlitt (1778-1830) British essayist.

War takes many forms including that where the only weapons are words, plotting, and schemes.

At work we call this office politics.

You will be involved, sometimes willingingly, sometimes not.

Do your best to recognize when you are, to stop, to minimize what is of so little value to anyone.

YOUR VALUE; NO MORE AND CERTAINLY NO LESS

"We are more prone to generalize the bad than the good. We assume that the bad is more potent and contagious."

Eric Hoffer (1902-1983) American philosopher/author.

Unless your ego is much greater than your ability (a reality for many) this applies to you.

We minimize our strengths while maximizing our weaknesses, to the point of missing opportunities for greater success.

Don't give yourself more credit than you deserve and certainly no less.

WHEN YOU THINK YOU SHOULD, DON'T!

"It's always too soon to quit."

Norman Vincent Peale, 20th century American minister/author

Not exactly; there are times when you need to recognize that, all your efforts notwithstanding, you will not achieve your goal.

But not quitting soon enough is not the problem for most of us.

All too often we quit way too soon.

I can't tell you when you should give up but I know it's not the first time you think you should.

WHEN NO ONE ELSE STANDS WITH YOU

"Adversity is the state in which man mostly easily becomes acquainted with himself, being especially free of admirers then."

Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) British author.

It's easy to be successful when you are successful.

You might want to give thought to what you'll do when you're not.

ORGANIZING?

"For every minute spent in organizing, an hour is earned."

Unknown

Organizing is the time first spent thinking about what is to be done, plus the time required to create a plan to get it done, plus the time required to actually execute the plan provisions.

Shortchange any of that and you diminish your chance for success.

WHO MAKES OR UNMAKES YOU?

"Man is made or unmade by himself. By the right choice he ascends. As a being of power, intelligence, and love, and the lord of his own thoughts, he holds the key to every situation."

James Allen (1864-1912) British-born American essayist.

What do you make of the fact that you, only you, make or unmake you?

WHAT'D YOU DECIDE?

"There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision."

William James (1842-1910) American philosopher/psychologist.

Thoughtful planning prior to taking action is a good thing.

Just not to the point of indecision.