SELF-CONTROL: WORK AT IT!

"Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself."

Abraham Joshua Heschel, 20th century Polish born American rabbi

So true.

Who, if not you, should you look to for self-control.

One more thing you can work to change.

EASY TO SAY, DIFFICULT TO DO

"Happy is the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying once and for all."

Ovid (BC 43-AD 18) Roman poet.

Not sure what Ovid had to worry about but whatever it was it couldn't have been much.

If it had he'd have known his advice is easy to give, very difficult to follow.

Difficult, not impossible.

You can manage what you choose to worry about, how you manage your fears.

And the more you do the better at doing it you become.

WHO WILL CONTROL YOU?

"I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self."

Aristotle (384 BC-322 BC) Greek philosopher.

Very important.

You won't control much of anything until you are able to control yourself.

WHO CONTROLS YOU?

"Such power there is in clear-eyed self-restraint."

James Russell Lowell (1819-1891) American poet/critic/editor.

Whatever strengths you possess are greatly, if not completely, diminished when you lose control of you.

IT'S UP TO YOU

"Man is made or unmade by himself."

James Allen (1864-1912) British-born American essayist

This doesn't mean your fate is not affected by others and events outside your control. 

You are.

But no matter what others do and whatever events you encounter, what you do and become is up to you.

TAKING CHARGE OF YOU

"Self-discipline enables you to think first and act afterward."

Napoleon Hill (1883-1970) American speaker/motivational writer

A VERY underrated personality quality.

Get your education, have your work experience, but if you don't have self-discipline much of what you do have is wasted.

PERSUADING YOU

"The real persuaders are our appetites, our fears and above all our vanity. The skillful propagandist stirs and coaches these internal persuaders."

Eric Hoffer (1902-1983) American philosopher/author

What you are and will become is up to you.

Others will attempt to use you to convince you but you have final control over all they do.

But only if you first take control of yourself.

IT MAKES ME ANGRY I DIDN'T LEARN THIS SOONER!

"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow."

Chinese proverb

In some cases way, way more than a hundred days.

Irrational anger, even rational anger allowed to go too far, can affect you for years to come.

Possibly the rest of your life.

THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-CONTROL

"He who cannot obey himself will be commanded. That is the nature of living creatures."

Friedrich Nietzsche

19th century German-Swiss philosopher/writer

You will be commanded by someone.

Wouldn't it be best for that person in charge of you to be you?

Temperamental Losses

"A person's fate is their own temper."

Benjamin Disraeli

19th century British politician/author

And how much, how often you lose it will determine how much else you lose.

Am I Kidding Me?

"Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others."

Fyodor Dostoyevsky
19th century Russian writer

More nicely put, we "kid" ourselves.

But whatever you call it the outcome is the same.

You can't expect to get the truth if you don't first give it to yourself.

Coyote Insight, LLC

Tempered Argument

"If you go in for argument, take care of your temper. Your logic, if you have any, will take care of itself."

Joseph Farrell
Economics Professor

You may be able to suppress others you argue with but you can never win based only or mostly on anger.

Who Controls You?

"Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power."

Seneca
5th century BC Roman philosopher

Self-control.

Do you have it?

Attitude: Who's In Charge Here?

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that humans beings can alter their lives by altering their attitude of mind."

William James
Psychologist

This may not seem like much at first but it is game changing.

You cannot easily, if at all, change your personal or professional circumstances until you first adapt the right attitude.

And please note that "right" does not necessarily mean "good", "nice", etc. What is "right" depends on what you want and need to do.

When you look at your outlook what do you see?

Conflict Resolution: The Role of Self Control

"He who angers you conquers you."

Elizabeth Kenny
Australian Physical Therapist

Ms. Kenny is touting the benefit of self-control; something we attempt to instill in our children but don't always display ourselves.

Anger is the product of failed conflict resolution. What can management do to see that doesn't happen? Or is it best to let employees sort our their business and personal differences themselves?

By the way, "Australian Physical Therapist" hardly describes Elizabeth Kenny's life and accomplishments and if you don't know about her you might find further description interesting.